3-week ‘no orgasm’ anniversary and a description on how I got the interest for domination and eventually became Mistress Bella Bellini's chastity slave

Prolog

Okay, I don’t care (I've got a little wine tonight). I write exactly what I think of on my blog and the readers can laugh all they want. This is not just a blog with objective descriptions of an 'orgasm denial’ relationship with Mistress Bella Bellini. This is a blog where I will write exactly what I feel and I am sure that my Mistress Bella Bellini will approve. I will not be able to determine whether it is jerk-off material, but at least everything I write is the true and not just fiction!

This is a slightly longer blog post. I have promised my Mistress Bella Bellini that I will write openly and honestly about my experiences here on this blog, so I thought it would be good with a little 3-week "no orgasm" status. If you read further, you’ll find out about how I my experience with no orgasms in 3 weeks went. Through an open and honest description of a large part of my "wanker" life, you’ll also find out how I even ended up as the new lucky sub of Mistress Bella Bellini. As such I write about how my interest in fetish and domination even began, and I think that most of the (male?) readers will be able to recognize at least some of my descriptions ;)

21 days and not a single orgasm!

But first to where I stand today. I can now celebrate my 3-week anniversary. It has now been 3 weeks since I last had an orgasm. Since I was a little boy and learned that it was associated with a certain pleasure repeatedly pulling up and down in what was formerly my cock (it now belongs, together with my balls, to Mistress Bella Bellini), the longest I've gone without achieving the pleasure of an orgasm was 14 days. But today I have not had an orgasm in 21 days!

16 days ago my Mistress Bella Bellini published an amazing video directed to me where Mistress came up with a diagnosis on my virgin problem and luckily Mistress decided that Mistress wanted to help me with my problem. Mistress is in the process of the treatment of me, and so far it has resulted in that I only have felt the joy of stroking Mistress’ cock one single time during the 21 days, and at that occasion, as previously written here on the blog, I had to stop immediately, since the sight my beautiful Mistress was too exciting for me.

3 weeks, approx. 20 strokes and no room for Mistress’ cock to arise (I always wear a chastity device when I’m doing something that might excite Mistress’ cock) and then you indeed have really a good recipe if you want bigger and aching balls! However, it has the side effect that even small things in your everyday life can get you turned on and make you crave for that orgasm. It doesn’t take much before you get the urge to find the key to the chastity device and do what few are talking about loudly, but all (men?) does: jerk off. But I wouldn’t dare to find the key since I unhesitatingly follow every single command from my Mistress. And right now it is Mistress’ orders that I always have to be in chastity when I look at 'adult material' (and for me that means looking at pictures, videos, live cams etc. of my Mistress), so that I do not get teenage-boy-thoughts about jerking off. Mistress has absolutely forbidden me to masturbate, and as such it has been a great help for me to wear the chastity device, as soon as the opportunity is there.

How is it going 3 weeks without an orgasm?

At times it has been tough. The hard times especially  occurs when I think of my wonderful Mistress, look at my beautiful Mistress’ images or videos, follow my sophisticated Mistress' blog, chats with my teasing Mistress in a live cam show, writes on this blog or twits with my interactive Mistress . In those times my former cock (everyone should know by now that my genitals belongs to Mistress and not me) has an endless desire to unfold, but because of my Mistress' desire that I do not let my teenage-boy-thoughts get away with me and jerk off, I obviously need to wear my chastity device every time I get these thoughts. Mistress is right in saying that it is necessary that I have my chastity device on every time I get naughty thoughts. At first I had written to Mistress that I promised that I would not masturbate unless Mistress had given me permission to do so. After 3 weeks of almost constant chastity (as written earlier, there are times when don’t wear my chastity device, but only in situations where I anyway could not jerk off), I simply realize that it would have been impossible for me to keep myself from stroking Mistress'cock if I hadn’t worn the chastity device. I rely 100% on Mistress’ demand saying that the best thing for me is that I do not masturbate, and as such I'm glad that I have chastity device on, so I do not fall back to my teenage-boy-minds.

How did I get to the point where I have voluntarily given another person the right to decide when and how I might have an orgasm again?

Like most men, my interest to touch my genitals in a pleasurable way started in my teenage years. Maybe even a little earlier; I must admit I cannot quite remember when I first got an orgasm after masturbation. Back then there wasn’t really such thing as the Internet, so in the beginning only my imagination set the agenda for my orgasms. Maybe it was the hot girl from my school, maybe it was the 3 years older girl who worked in the kiosk or maybe it was even a famous woman from television who was the inspiration for my jerk offs. When I got a little older, I pulled myself together and bought some porn magazines and then there were completely naked girls I could jerk off to. It was really great, and I do not know how many times I've jerked off using the 2 porno magazines that initially formed the base of my teenage jerk off material.

When I was about 14-15 years the internet began to become accessible. In the beginning, it was only at the library or from time to time in school that I could get on the Internet. I remember how I as a 14-15 year old boy together with a buddy sat in the library and searched for everything that rhymed on ‘nude girls’. Naturally I could not sit in the library and jerk off, so I had to memorize the pictures of various famous porn stars in my head and then I could jerk off to these memories before I went to bed at night.

High School

When I was a little older and went to high school, we also got internet at home but it was only on my dad's computer we had an internet connection. Back then the download speed was impressive 56k, so it was mostly nude pictures that formed the basis for my jerk off material. The typical scenario was me sitting in my dad’s office with the door half open, so I could keep an eye on any iintruders. This way I got, through time, thousands of pictures of naked girls from various websites. When the images where downloaded to my dad's computer the next phase started. Now the images had to go to floppy disks so I could get them loaded onto my own computer. Let me remind the readers that a floppy disc only contains 1.44 MB, and although the images back then didn’t have the same size as today, it often took several floppy discs to get all images transferred :) When I finally got the images transferred to my own computer, I could satisfy my desire to jerk off without interruptions in my own room.

I also believe that it was in high school that my interest in domination began. In my second year in High School we got a new girl in the class. Believe it or not, but I was actually together with this girl on the first Friday after she had entered into the class. Together as in "we kissed", but nothing else since I actually cannot remember more from that evening as I ended up getting completely wasted.

After that we were not together again, but I was still attracted to her. As the weeks went by it was more and more clear that this girl was a total bitch (excuse my language, but she really was!). Outwardly, I went with my classmates’ definition of this girl that she was a bitch, but inwardly I was totally attracted to her because of the way she behaved. She was one of the few in class who had left home and lived by herself. After a party at her place, I remember that I dreamed about being her 'house slave' and simply do everything she commanded. Every time she made yet another of her "bitch-moves" at school, that everyone else in the class obviously distanced themselves from, I became more and more attracted to her. So it was probably in high school that I first really got interested in domination.

In high school I was actually together with a number of girls, but I never got further than 2nd base (wiki quote: "Second base most often refers to stimulation of a woman's breasts, either through clothing or directly skin to skin. Some claim it may refer to tactile stimulation of genitalia (and can be divided into whether the stimulation is done through clothing, or directly, skin to skin).". I've always felt like that if I was not quite attracted to a girl, I never really wanted to go all the way and have sex with her (laugh all you want guys, but that's how I am!). None of the girls I was with together with in high school had the potential to be a real dominator, and maybe for that reason (or maybe other reasons), there was none of the girls that I wanted to have a serious relationship with. The girl I really liked (aka. the bitch) had a permanent relationship with another guy, but I'd like to admit that I, from the first time I met her in my 2nd year until I became a student, had a deep crush on her and she was often the basis for my jerk off thoughts.

I have not seen this girl for 10 years so she is now almost forgotten, but she still appears on my top 5 list of girls I've met in my life that I really would like to have had sex with :)

Moved to my own place

And then what happened after high school? Well, I moved into my own apartment, and got my own internet connection. 4 mbit! It was great, and my 120 GB external hard drive was quickly filled with different porn. For some reason I have always felt most turned on to porn that only included women (subsequently I modified this, read below). With 4mbit and 120 GB of additional hard drive space it was now also possible to download videos from the internet. I can still remember the first real domination video I got: It was a video where a woman was dominating another woman (I’ll see if I can find a link to video – I remember it started with the dominator saying “come here sweetie”). I found it extremely exciting to see how this one woman totally subjected herself to the other woman and I often imagined that it was me who was the slave and was being dominated.

Just before I met Mistress Bella Bellini

Flash forward to January 2011 (before I found Mistress Bella Bellini's side). Like most other young men I’ve watched countless minutes of porn on the internet. However, the idea of dominance has always been what’s turned me on the most, and even if I’ve watched softcore porn while I jerked off, I’ve pretty much always fantasized about being dominated by the woman at the pictures or videos. In my time I have downloaded a number of videos with dominance as a theme. In this connection I have relaxed a bit on my "demand" that I didn’t watch that much porn where men were also involved. The most realistic domination videos for me have been videos where a man has been dominated by a woman. I’ve been through a lot of different genres, so I know by now what excites me the most. I have to admit that the thought of another woman having 100% control over when and how a man can get an orgasm is what has excited me most. That’s like being dominated 24 hours a day and in some way it affects everything in your life. Other forms of domination also please me. I still fantasize about being tied up by a beautiful woman that then uses her whip on me. For one reason or another I’ve also felt attracted to the thought of a hot woman performing CBT on me, but I simply cannot imagine a more truly exiting domination than to let the choice for when and how I can get an orgasm in the hands of a Mistress.

How my desire to be humiliated by an attractive Mistress started I don’t really remember. I think that it just lies inside dominance act that the woman has total control, and thus it's obvious that she uses this power to include some kind of humiliation to really show this power.

My first contact to Mistress' site

And here we arrive at the first time I contacted Mistress Bella Bellini. I was hoping that Mistress would make a personal video for me where Mistress would make humiliating comments about me still being a virgin. I’m unable to explain why I’m still a virgin, because I do not really feel that I fit entirely into the profile of a 29-year old virgin, but that is how it is. Seeing a divine, beautiful Mistress as Mistress Bella Bellini humiliating me in a personal video, I was sure would be an epic video in my collection. The thought of a personal video with a woman who I am completely attracted to as I am by Mistress Belle Bellini (I freely admit that I’ve never ever been this attracted to any woman on the net or in real life) was simply too tempting . And thinking about a video where this Goddess dealt with my favorite fetishes and talked directly to me – well that simple felt too good to be true. That was my thoughts when I sent my first email to Mistress.

I’ve never taken personal contact to any women on the 'erotic sites' (or whatever they’re called) before. I’ve never talked about my desire to be dominated by a beautiful woman to anyone. And I've never ever told anybody that I'm still a virgin. As such I really exceeded some boundaries with this first email to Mistress. But I had gone for many years with these fantasies and desires, and when I found Mistress' side, I knew she was the right person to contact to get my fantasies turned into real life.

Besides my great desire to see a video where an endless beautiful woman like Mistress made a personal 'humiliation' of me, I also suggested Mistress that she might as well take control of my sex life since I anyway  didn’t have the skills to get one started myself. Fortunately Mistress acted on this invitation. In the personal video to me, I not only get humiliated on the fact that I am still a virgin, but I also got to be, in the most sophisticated way, Mistress new chastity slave. I simply do not believe that there is any other woman in the world who could have made such a perfect video to me. Mistress does not only manages to bring the concept of "humiliation" into a completely different level (there was no shouting and screaming but rather the most cunning, sophisticated and deep humiliation). Mistress also manages to integrate the chastity training in such a way that it seems completely natural to me that I’ve now gone 21 days without an orgasm.

My wanker-life has taken a whole new twist. I have entered a whole new dimension of my "sex life" which I never really thought that I would ever experience. I hope that I at one time or another finds the woman of my life and will begin an entirely "normal" sex life, but then I can’t really have expectations that she is willing to live out my various fetish fantasies (domination, humiliation and ‘orgasm denail’).

I cannot thank Mistress enough times for the things Mistress has brought to my ‘sex life’ so far. When I first read about Mistress 'intentions’ on Mistress’ site, I had difficulty believing that Mistress really meant what Mistress wrote about that Mistress actually treats Mistress’ members like Mistress’ real life subs. But Mistress does and personally I’m endlessly happy about it.

Someone might think that the above is only designed to make advertising for Mistress Bella Bellini's site. And that is also partly true! But this blog is 100% controlled by myself and Mistress has so far not interfered with my writings. It is clear that if Mistress commands me to write about something specific on this blog, then I naturally do it (frankly, if you were one of Mistress’ pets, you'd also obey every single order), but everything I write is open and honest based on the experiences I’ve had with Mistress. And yes, it is also true that I make links to my Mistress’ site, but honestly I mostly do it for the readers' sake. Everyone, that for some reason have entered this blog owe themselves a favor and check Mistress Bella Bellini's website out. I’ve been a member of quite a few fetish sites, but none of them have been able to offer what Mistress Bella Bellini offers. I've never experienced anywhere near the same interaction, and I've actually never been anywhere near making contact to a woman on a fetish website. If I have to be completely honest I do not really like the thought that my Mistress gets more pets in her stable, as I might be afraid that Mistress forgets about me, but I am honestly so infatuated by my Mistress that I put Mistress’ wishes above my own, and as such I hope that as many people as possible get to know about Mistress’ site.

Epilog

It was a long blog post where I've written quite a few personal thoughts. A month ago I wouldn’t have believed that I would have dared to disclose such personal information about my "sex life" and my thoughts about it, but after having been trained by Mistress for 3 weeks, I’ve gotten the courage, to tell the world about my experiences as an ordinary teenage boy who jerked off, about my current "sex life" and about my various fetish fantasies, which I’m now partially living out.

I cannot express strongly enough how grateful I am that Mistress' has agreed to train me, but I will try:

Mistress Bella Bellini: I am virgin wanker and I'm deeply, deeply grateful that Mistress will try to make me a better man through Mistress’ training. Mistress, you changed my life in an area that I never thought I would have outlived in real life and I cannot thank Mistress enough times that Mistress has welcomed me with open arms. I will do everything Mistress commands and if Mistress really believes (as Mistress threatens in his video) that I should go up to 6 month without an orgasm, then I willingly obey that order, although I really hope, that I will get an orgasm soon. Mistress Bella Bellini: There are nearly 3.650miles between us, yet it feels as if Mistress is near me all the time. Time after time I get amazed at how deeply Mistress can affect me with Mistress' pictures, videos, live shows, emails, comments and tweets. It often feels as if Mistress were my neighbor, who holds the key to my apartment and always could come at an unexpected visit. I will always do exactly what Mistress commands, because the last thing in the world I want to do is to disappoint Mistress.

Thanks for 3 amazing weeks that have completely changed my life in the best possible way.

I Will NOT Masturbate in Class

Ohhh. Today my Mistress Bella Bellini uploaded a photo set that really hit the prisoner.

In the photos Mistress is standing in tight latex reminding me of the most important part of Mistress' training of me: "I Will NOT Masturbate in Class"

I've now been Mistress Bella Bellini's lucky chastity slave for the last 17 days; 17 days since I last had a release. In these 17 days I've been allowed to stroke Mistress' cock 1 time, but I simply had to stop after only 15-20 strokes. The sight of Mistress teasing me in one of her videos was simply too arousing for me and I had to put the chastity cage on again.

I have no idea when my Mistress will allow the prisoner any more sensual care or when I'm even gonna get an orgasm again, but I won't lie: I'm really longing for a release and every time I look at my Mistress the longing just gets stronger and stronger.

Sensual care and nightmares

I'm a little torn as to how it went with the sensual care reward. In almost 13 days I have gone without any kind of sensual care to the prisoner. Obviously I had been looking forward to finally regain the right to give Mistress' possession a little temporary pleasure. It WAS a pleasure for Mistress' long-term prisoner. No doubt about that. Great to revisit the "Twin peaks burlesque tease" while I was actually allowed to do a little bit of the special touches, I was thinking so much about during the show when I watched it live.

But I also felt that I quickly got an urge to go further, and immediately when I got that urge, I decided to put the chastity cage back on. I'm still too early in the process that I dare to take even small chances, so I guess it was for the best. This meant that Mistress’ permission to "sensual care" almost became more painful than enjoyable. I had indeed again got the feeling of how wonderful it is to look at Mistress along with sensual touches, and as such it was extra hard to have the cage back on again.

In my sleeps I had a dream, which the majority probably would describe as a fantastic dream. For me however, it was rather a nightmare. The dream was inspired by the few sensual touches Mistress had authorized me before I fell asleep. The dream suddenly goes completely wrong and Mistress' prisoner is going to places where it most definitely should not go (let’s just say the prisoner was looking at fountains, rocket firings etc.). I woke up, shaken as if I had had a death dream or something similar, but to my relief, I could check on Mistress' possession and find that it rested securely in its cage without any signs of water damage in the prison cell.

As such Mistress' merciful permission had influenced me more than I had initially anticipated. If someone said to me 3 weeks ago, that I would interpret such a “fountain dream” as a nightmare, I probably wouldn’t have believed them. Once again, I underestimated Mistress' abilities to reach much deeper than meets the eye.

Measurements and permission to stroke!

Since I had behaved like a good slave and done everything Mistress Bella Bellini had ordered me to do, I got the following permission from Mistress:

"You can reward yourself with a few sensual strokes when you are alone. Perhaps when you are watching the archive from the cam show. It will go live in a few hours;) NO orgasms of course!"

And my reply:
 

"I forgot to write to Mistress about the measurements. Actually I took one picture of the measurements, but it was such a bad picture and I wouldn’t expose Mistress to that. Even when Mistress’ new possession is not quite erect (Mistress has gradually learned it about its lowered position), it actually measures almost 6 inches. I assume that it makes Mistress’ overall task a little easier than if Mistress would have to work with one below average.

I'll report back on the other things when I once again have the time to occupy myself with Mistress’ homework assignments [...]

But I can’t wait until its night again. Delighted to have a new bedtime story from Mistress and delighted to have been given the permission to give Mistress’ belongings a little bit of sensual care (thank you Mistress). I promise that I’ll keep myself far away from the edge - it would simply be too dangerous."

I think I'm dreaming...

Just before I went to bed, Mistress Bella Bellini uploaded a new video on her site. It was a sweat Valentine’s presents to the good pets (I really hope I’m one of them).

I didn’t watch the video right away, since I wanted to watch it as my ‘bed time’ story. Obviously my Mistress wanted me to report back on how that evolved, so here is my report back to Mistress:

“What a perfect video I had chosen as my bedtime story. The music in the video was as if made to lull one down and surrender to dreamland (guess I have to catch up on ‘The Talented Mr. Ripley’; who knew that Jason Bourne could actually sing :) ).

I don’t know if the lighting was a result of the iPhone-recording (as I remember it), but it got me thinking about whether I had already fallen asleep and was dreaming the sweetest dream.

And what a lucky lollipop! “A little virgin who accidentally chose this particular video just before bedtime to provide inspiration for his dreams and then the session with Mistress spoiling a very lucky lollipop”. Wonder if that scenario could have set Freud’s brain into overdrive :)

Additionally I simply cannot express this enough: There is no sight in the whole world I would rather present to my eyes just before I close them and go to sleep than the image of the Mistress’ divine booty as shown at the end of the video. So beautiful, so sexy and so incredibly perfect.

I had sweet dreams of Mistress walking down the hall in Mistress’ new 5-inch stilettos (from Mistress’ cam show earlier that evening). Then followed a long series of teasing where Mistress exposes all the naughty parts of Mistress’ smoking hot body – especially Mistress’ perfect booty. Mistress unbuttons the white cardigan and begins, slowly but teasingly, pulling down the bra and just at the point where it gets really naughty – beep beep beep beep – arhhhhhhh that damn alarm clock!

Mirror, mirror on the wall, tell me who’s the hottest of them all?

I certainly do not need a mirror to answer that. I just have to surrender myself to dreamland, and then Mistress does the rest of the work. Can’t wait until my next sleep...”

Replies to the assignments

These were some of my answers to Mistress Bella Bellini's tasks:

"This morning I took of the chastity device for the first time in more than 60 hours. It was a little longer than I expected, but thought that now that there was an option for it, then Mistress would certainly not have anything against it.

Fortunately I had no embarrassing incidents with an out of control cock at the gym. I was in the gym early, so there were not that many people, but I could quickly count the first 10 girls, which in other surroundings might have had an uplifting influence on Mistress’ cock. It may sound a little bit perverted, but there is something sexy about sweaty girls in tight fitness clothes and by the way I think it was a man who invented the cross trainer! :)

When I got home, I spent some time taking care of Mistress’ cock and balls. I gave them a shave and now they are fine and smooth once again, and then they got a well-deserved lotion treatment. Then it was "day pass over" and back in the cage again. I really wanted to get just a little sense of sensual touch (I have not had a single stroke since February 4th), but since Mistress had not written anything about that it would be permitted during the "day pass" I thought it would be best not to, even though the desire really were there.

The cage has been on since 3 pm and I think it was a very good thing that it was on during Mistress' live show today. So many teases by Mistress and so long ago I’ve had a relief (or strokes, matter) would have been a tough test for me, had it not been for the cage. I have gradually got used to having the cage on, so I do not think about it much longer. Thus, Mistress does not have to worry about ordering prison time (not that I think Mistress really worry about it), if that is the best treatment for me.

As for my new blog, I have been editing some of the things I have written to Mistress lately. However, I have not yet set up a new blog because I wanted to wait for a response from Mistress (if Mistress suggest any blog-site) and I will only go 'on-line' when I have it all ready (I am a little bit perfectionist like Mistress, so guess that’s 2 things in common now :) ). I hope this is OK with Mistress."

Day pass for the prisoner and the birth of this blog

As previously described, there are times where I'll have to take my chastity cage off. Today I had worn the cage uninterrupted for 60 hours, which is the longest stretch I have done.

Today I had some appointments where I simply could not wear the cage; including a trip to the gym.

My Mistress exploited this "day pass" to order me to take some care of the prisoner:

"So the prisoner gets a day pass tomorrow. Hmmm, I must take advantage of this opportunity. If this message gets to you in time, I'd like you to measure my dick and balls when you take it out of the chastity device. Then I want you to make sure to set some time aside for maintenance during this period of freedom. I want my possession to be clean and moisturized before it is time for me to lock you up again. It will also be interesting to measure before the prisoner is locked up again to track how it behaved on the day pass."

My Mistress also gave me another assignment:

"I want you to set up a free blogger account to blog your experiences like you have on my site and on twitter. [...] There is a twitter widget so you don't have to rewrite your tweets."

Yoga vs. cage

Today I watched my Mistress Bella Bellini on the spy cam getting the high score in Wee Fit. It's pretty hard (pun intended) to watch my Mistress doing fitness in tight clothes while being forced to wear the chastity cage.

I'm pretty sure, that if Wee put Mistress on the cover of the game, they would break all sales records :)

Valentine's Day

I got a Valentine's Day greeting from Mistress Bella Bellini:

"Happy Valentine's Day! No orgasms for you I'm afraid. But you will get a long report card from me later today. Even better!"

I read the message right after I woke up. As most males know, waking up is usually combined with a morning wood. Waking up with a morning wood inside a chastity cage is often combined with lots of stretching of the balls and pinching of the cock. In other words: It hurts!

Combine that with a Valentine’s message from your Mistress and suddenly the pain is even worse down there. But I have to say, that the pain actually feels so good, knowing that a beautiful Mistress caused it.

I naturally had to send Mistress a Valentine's Day gift to thank Mistress for taking so good care of me as well as thinking of me on Valentine’s Day.

My response to the assigment

Later that day I wrote Mistress Bella Bellini the following response:

"Hello Mistress Bella Bellini

Mistress: I am deeply grateful that Mistress' has agreed to take ownership of my cock and sexual drive! I really hope you are aware of that, and if there is anything more I can do to prove to Mistress that I really am deeply grateful, then please let me know. What would I have done, if I had not found Mistress?

Earlier Mistress wrote to me, that Mistress would give me what I need instead of what I want. Misstress is so correct in that Mistress knows what I need! Thanks for yet another amazing video ('Latex leg tease') where you so indeed managed to push all my buttons, even the ones I didn’t knew I had!

When I got home from my weekend trip the first thing I did when I entered the door was to take my CB3000 on. I made sure that it was put on extra tight since I, as written on Twitter, will wear it for at least 36 hours in a row. At the top of the CB3000, just behind the lock, sits a gimmick with small spikes on, which presses down on Mistress’ cock. I have three different spike-sizes to choose from and so far I've gone with the smallest spikes. Today I decided to go one step up and take the middle spikes on. Additionally I have chosen a slightly shorter stick to keep chastity device together so there was extra pressure on Mistress' balls.

Here 6 hours later I do not know whether I regret that I pushed Mistress' cock and balls so much in the beginning of my 1 ½ days Chastity tests. Mistress' video 'Latex leg tease' has certainly not made it easier for the little virgin wanker.

The last week I have not even been able to touch Mistress' cock when I felt the need for it. If I forget that Mistress' has taken over my genitals and locked them inside a cage, and therefore as a reflex of a little virgin wanker lead my hand down to give my former cock a few strokes, everything that my hand reaches is a frustrating hard plastic cage. As Mistress' knows (and have told the whole world) I have previously managed to go without an orgasm for 14 days. But back then I at least allowed myself to masturbate. It’s pure torture having to watch your videos without the slightest chance of getting just a little bit of gratification through wanking. But I rely 100% on Mistress’ knowledge, because Mistress’ knows what is best for me and the Chastity cage does not come off by before Mistress permits it.

Mistress speaks in the video about hypnosis. Let me confess that Mistress does not need any official license to hypnotize her virgin wanker. Mistress does not even have to say anything to perform hypnosis on me. Merely a look into Mistress’ eyes will always get your little virgin wanker into a deep trance. When I in addition to the look into Mistress’ butiful and sexy eyes also get to hear Mistress enchanting voice, there is nothing that could get my direct attention away from Mistress and nothing could get me to disobey Mistress’ orders. Mistress: You have brought me into a 24/7 trance and I love every second of it.

Mistress knows, that Mistress' little pet has a big weakness for the female ass. Mistress should also know that Mistress’ little pet becomes completely excited when Mistress is doing some of Mistress’ ass-teasing in Mistress' videos. First Mistress gives a little sneak peak of Mistress' perfect ass (in the beginning where Mistress shows how short and tight Mistress’ dress is) and that was the first of many times I would feel the pain of a cock being denied its erection and balls getting stretched so much, that I was really reminded that it’s been a long time since I've got an orgasm. However, it was even worse when Mistress 8:09 minutes into the video suddenly switch over to show around 20 seconds of teasing with the most divine ass there is on this planet. It feels almost as if Mistress did it on purpose, because Mistress knows that a woman's ass is the part I appreciate the most: 20 seconds of pure pain hell for Mistress' trapped cock and balls but also 20 seconds in glorious heaven for Mistress' little virgin wanker!

I have told you that woman's breasts is "only" number 3 on my list of most valued female body parts. After seeing Mistress' irresistible teasing with Mistress’ perfect cleavage, I am suddenly in doubt. I am certainly now an official breast-worshipping-virgin-wanker! Mistress' breasts are nothing less than 100% perfect, and how could a pathetic little virgin wanker like me ever resist such beautiful breasts?

I had already gotten my number 1 (Mistress 'hot ass) and number 3 (Mistress' perfect breasts) on my "worshipping-list", but since Mistress of course knows exactly how Mistress can turn on an inexperienced virgin like me, of course the video also contained a wonderful section with Mistress that shows an ever so sexy camel toe. On top of it (pun intended) the little virgin wanker could sit and enjoy the sight of Mistress' wonderful belly button, which he has adored so much in the last few days.

I know that I will never get near such a beautiful and breathtaking pussy that Mistress’ shows in the video, but it was as if Mistress’ cock and balls were totally indifferent and merrily let a little virgin left alone with more and more pain for each second Mistress teased me with Mistress’ completely unattainable pussy. As I have written as a commend to one of your other videos, it is completely impossible not to surrender 110% when Mistress gives a little sneak peak or even plays with her pussy (each time Mistress moaned it got Mistress’ cock just a tad harder inside the cage causing more and more deserved pain for me) .

And how frustrating was it when Mistress at a point talks to one of the chatters about stroking. Does Mistress not know that it is pure torture, to throw a virgin wankers cock in a cage for a week and then also force him to watch a video where she calls for stroking, now that stroking my earlier cock is some of what I have most desire for, watching a video as hot as this one? Mistress can be evil in such a sweat way!

By the way: I’ve got a new fetish: Having Mistress Bella Bellini bitting my shoulders! :) Everything Mistress enjoys doing to Mistress’ slaves, I enjoy on the receiving part. How can I not after Mistress has shown me such kindness of taking up the job, to help me with my “virgin problems”?

Mistress Bella Bellini: Thank you for throwing Mistress' cock and balls through the 48 ½-minute of torture. I know it's my punishment for having been so incompetent that I as a 29 year old still am a virgin and I know that you always know best and that I therefore deserve to be put through this torture. Even writing this email makes Mistress' cock and balls rebellion in the cage and I would almost wish I had not promised 36 hours of continuous chastity for myself. But only almost, because as Mistress has taught me, the best way I will learn what a pathetic little virgin wanker I've been all my life is by being punished through pain in my now useless dick.

Sincerely

     virgin wanker"

Next assignment from Mistress

Sunday when I came home from my weekend trip there was a new assignment from Mistress Bella Bellini:

"Hello Virgin Wanker,

I'm pleased that you have managed to keep your cock locked up on your weekend away so we can continue to work on controlling your useless dick. We both know you have been unsuccessful at controlling and using your cock to please a woman up until now. So you are fortunate that I agreed to take ownership of your cock and sexual drive. Perhaps one day you will be ready to become a real man.

You've mentioned that your internet connection wasn't the best on your weekend away. So you are going to be very excited for your next assignment when return home. It is going to be a challenging assignment because I'm going to be pushing all your buttons, but you won't be allowed to cum.

You must watch the video Latex leg tease when you return home. You MUST wear your chastity device when you are watching the video because otherwise you will have no control. The video and images of my legs, feet, toes, ass, and camel toe in my little thong will push you very close to your edge. But just think of me holding your cock in a grip and squeezing your balls when you think you might cum. [...]"

Weekend trip

I was away on holiday with some friends Friday to Sunday. Had a hard time thinking of anything else than Mistress Bella Bellini during the days. Luckily, my mobile phone could catch a 3g network, so in the evenings when I was alone in my room, I could get my needs to worship Mistress met. I did not have my chastity device on during the days since it would be too apparent in my pants, but soon as I was alone, the cage went on. I used my alone time to look at pictures of my beautiful Mistress’ belly button, saw some of Mistress’ videos and read some of Mistress' old tweets before I fell asleep.

Saturday evening I saw the movie Serenity (really good movie; the main character has some very cool comments), but when the main character at one point mentions "belly button" all I could think of the rest of the movie was Mistress' beautiful belly button and what Mistress' next assignment would be. Although there were several beautiful women in the film, they could do nothing in the contest with Mistress, and when Mistress was all I was wondering about during the whole movie, it was not women in the film but Mistress, who was to blame that I several times had to conceal an incipient erection.

My response to the video

This is what I wrote back to Mistress Bella Bellini after I had watched the fantastic video:

"Hello Mistress Bella Bellina

Thank you so much for the video that Mistress made for me. It surpassed my wildest imagination! I never dreamed that I once had to feel so humiliated because of an exhibition of my pathetic "sexual life" while feeling so extremely excited at the same time. I couldn’t possibly have asked for a better interpretation of my “sex life” and I am exceedingly happy that Mistress will guide me with homework assignments, so that hopefully once I can get a just fairly sex life. It will be fantastic if I at the same time may be able to live out my dream of being under full control of a deadly beautiful Mistress and at the same time learn how I can get a real sex life.

I love the new pet name Mistress came up with. The double meaning of 'wanker' is so perfectly apt that I'm actually proud of my new nickname. Now I can, with a short and concise name, define myself and I know that if I do not follow Mistress’ advice and guidance, then it will forever be a name that suits me. The sad scenario of my future life Mistress put up in the video and the opportunities Mistress after all/fortunately also talks about, will from today be my motivation in life. I AM a "poor pathetic little lost boy" and I KNOW it takes a very special person to change it - I also KNOW that I could never have found a better person than Mistress Bella Bellini to perform miracles on me, so that there is hope for me that the maximum I can ever achieve will not only be the ‘1 Minute Man’ scenario.

I immediately went to work with Mistress’ first homework assignment and already when I read of Mistress’ descriptions of the belly button; I could feel how a few words had made me appreciate a part of the female body in a way I have never been able to before. Thank you for teaching me something valuable new today. I've done my best to prepare myself for the next days, finding approximately 150 pictures of Mistress divine belly button. I have cropped the pictures so I only need to focus on the belly button and the surrounding area. I've uploaded the pictures to my mobile phone, and will use every moment I get, to appreciate this amazing female body part and especially Mistress Bella Bellini’s. Hopefully an intense studio work will mean that I will never forget how beautiful but not least, how important the belly button is on the female body.

Since the first time Mistress mentioned chastity training in her email to me, I have carried my CB3000 as often as I possibly could. The only times where I have not worn my CB3000 have been if I have been meeting up with friends or if I've been to the gym or doing other sport.

I know Mistress is right when she says that I cannot control myself if I see pictures or videos of Mistress and I am also afraid that I could not control myself if I’m alone in my apartment . I know I have previously written to Mistress that I have felt confident that I can control myself even without a chastity device, but Mistress Bella Bellini's knowledge about orgasm control, naturally surpasses mine by far, and as the complete Virgin Wanker I am, I'd obviously at some point lose my tempers and touch myself, although I had not gotten Mistress Bella Bellini's permission. So I am happy that I have my CB3000, which I sincerely believe will be one of my most important tools in my fight for maybe even being allowed to have sex with a real woman sometimes in the future.

I will ALWAYS wear my CB3000 when I'm alone in my apartment, so I do not fail in relation to Mistress’ treatment of me. The only exception to this rule will be when Mistress is allowing me to take it off . Therefore, I promise that I will always have my CB3000 on when I look at videos, photos, spycams or livecams with Mistress Bella Bellini or other of the models on the network. I promise I will always sleep with my CB3000 on so I do not get any wet dreams. It would be completely impossible for Mistress Bella Bellini to provide proper care of me if I could just get my release through a wet dream.

I hope that Mistress will give me permission to take of my CB3000 when I leave my apartment and may come across situations where it will be visible in my pants. I know that I'll have to work on these situations, but I hope that Mistress understand that right now I feel like a chastity virgin and therefore, needs experience in this field before I can wear it at all time.

When I saw Mistress’ video and found out that Mistress’ assignments are actually going to help me in the long run, I got so hard in my chastity. The idea that I do not know when I may be allowed just to touch myself when I feel a wankers need and the prospect that the timing of my next orgasm is 100% determined by Mistress Bella Bellini is partly excruciating partly so very satisfying, because I know that Mistress knows what’s best for me. If Mistress Bella Bellini believes that it is best for me that I suffer in my chastity device while I'm watching all Mistress videos and pictures in order for me to understand how pathetic my "sex life" used to be, then I trust Mistress Bella Bellini 100 %. I have to suffer in order to, maybe sometime in the future, be lucky enough to have sex with a real woman.

I will also immediately begin keeping a diary of all large and small things in my daily life that can get my, or as I will refer to it from now on, Mistress Bella Bellini's cock hard in my pants. Even if I eventually, through my chastity training, starts to learn to control Mistress Bella Bellini's cock, so that it does not always get hard when I am aroused, I'll write in my new journal when I feel something in my daily life turns me on. It is only fair that Mistress is informed of all my perverse thinking, so that Mistress Bella Bellini can find the right treatment for me.

Tomorrow (well actually already in about 4 hours), I go on a holiday weekend with some friends. I will take with me my laptop (not the broken Macbook, but an old fashioned PC) with all Mistress’ videos and pictures, so that I can constantly remind myself who it is that controls me. I also take with me my CB3000 and do promise, that I will at least spend the nights wearing it (to prevent wet dreams) no matter how hard it is for me to hide it for my travel mates. Should I fail and not at least have my CB3000 on at nights, I hope that Mistress Bella Bellini will have an appropriate punishment ready for me. In addition to my laptop with my vital Mistress Bella Bellini fixes, I also bring my mobile phone with internet. Hopefully there is internet coverage at the place I will stay for the weekend so that I will be able to tweet via my new Twitter account and read and reply to any emails from Mistress Bella Bellini.

I come back from my holiday weekend at Sunday evening (about 2-3 PM Canadian time) and at the moment I step into my apartment, I will allocate all my time to whatever Mistress Bella Bellini wishes. I will make more comments on some of all the great videos and pictures at Mistress Bella Bellini's page and I would also like to make a blog post about my first days in Mistress’ control if Mistress Bella Bellini wishes that.

I have also attached a picture of Mistress Bella Bellini's cock and balls locked in the CB3000 cage. It is only fair that Mistress Bella Bellini knows what it is that Mistress has to work with, and since it IS now Mistress’ property, then of course Mistress’ can always ask for pictures of it.

Finally, I once again express my deepest gratitude that Mistress will help me with my problems. I know that Mistress’ methods will be the perfect cure for me, so I will do my best to always live up to Mistress’ wishes and commands. If one day I fail to live up to Mistress’ requirements, I promise, I will immediately inform Mistress about my mistakes.

Sincerely

     Wirgin wanker"

My new pet name, my new video and my new task

This day Mistress Bella Bellini gave me my new nickname.

Mistress chose to call me 'virgin wanker‘ obviously referring to the double meaning of ‘wanker ‘: it refers to a man who masturbates, but it's also an insult.

Mistress asked me to grab the name on Twitter, and from this day on my name was 'virginwanker' on Twitter, where I regularly write small updates on my adventures with Mistress.

Mistress also uploaded her personal video about… me! Mistress called it 'Chastity training orientation'. I had been looking forward to this video since the moment I had sent my first email to Mistress. The video was so much more than I ever could have dreamed about. Mistress hit me on a humiliation level I didn't knew even existed. Read the email I wrote to Mistress the next day to get my full respond.

Plus I got a new task from Mistress:

"For today's assignment I want you to go through my site and find all the photos that feature my belly button. I want you to imagine how soft my stomach feels around my belly button. So you get to enjoy the contrasting sensations of softness and tightness when you touch my stomach. You probably don't know this because you are an inexperienced virgin. But the stomach is a very erogenous zone for many women. Imagine hearing me or another women sigh and moan with pleasure as you caress the area around the belly button. Of course that isn't going to happen. And you better not jerk off while you are doing this assignment. If you feel tempted you better put on your CB3000"

2 lists

Later that day Mistress Bella Bellini asked me to make 2 lists:

"Please list the parts of a woman's body that you would want to worship the most. 1 being the least likely body part that would turn you on and 10 (or more if you prefer) that turns you on the most.

Likewise please list fetish clothing that turns you on from least to most. Fetish clothing doesn't have to be latex or leather. It can be regular cotton panties or anything a woman would wear."

My lists were as follows:

Parts of a woman's body that I would want to worship the most (with No. 10 being the most desirable):

1. Hair

2. Armpits

3. Hands

4. Belly button

5. Mouth

6. Feet and toes

7. Eyes

8. Breasts

9. Pussy

10. Ass

Fetish clothing that turns me on (with No. 20 being the clothing that turns me on the most):

1. Bikini

2. Latex cat suit

3. Sexy cop uniform

4. Snow white costume

5. Galla dress

6. Over-the-knee socks

7. Naughty school girl outfit

8. Nurse suit

9. French maid suit

10. Sexy white or pink pyjama

11. Women business suit

12. High heeled long leather boots

13. Latex dominatrix outfit

14. Classic school girl uniform

15. Low-rise boyshort

16. White cotton panties

17. White shirt and tight skirt

18. Long satin gloves

19. See through nightgown

20. Thin White t-shit and no bra

Draft contract

When I woke up the first thing I did was to check my in box; response from Mistress Bella Bellini - nice!

Mistress sent me a draft of a contract between us:

Among other things Mistress wanted me to clarify what my expectations were and how far I was willing to go. I had no expectations other than a hope that Mistress would make a video for me. As to how far I was willing to go I replied that I already had surrendered myself completely to Mistress and that I basically was willing to do whatever Mistress desired. The only limit I wished respected was that I could remain anonymous to everyone other than Mistress.

I described how I had experimented with sexual humiliation scenarios created in my mind and alone in my apartment. Among other things I told Mistress that I get excited about the idea that a woman would force me to take her strap-on, and as such I had experimented with dildos in various scenarios, but always as part of a humiliation from an attractive woman. I am 100 % heterosexual and do not get turned on by men, but I have absolutely nothing against gay or bisexual people. The idea, though, that a woman would exceed my own sexual boundary and humiliate me by forcing me to accept a strap-on or even make me use a dildo in different ways, satisfy my humiliation fantasies.

At Mistress' question about my pain limits, I could only reply based on the experience I had with myself. It is limited what I've tried, but the idea of CBT performed by a beautiful woman has always fascinated me and thus I wrote that I was willing to expand my limits.

Of course Mistress’ contract proposal also contained a section on how Mistress’ orgasm control would take place. I already had a CB3000 (chastity device) and had previously managed to wear it continuously for approx. 24 hours. As shown I had not really experimented that much with a chastity device, but I was glad that I actually had one, and not least that I now had someone to ‘hold the key’ to it and consequently the power over my genitals. I appear regularly in situations where a chastity device simply would not be appropriate. For instance it could be in the gym where I oddly enough do not want to shower with a plastic unit stuck to my genitals. It could also be situations where the device simply would be too visible in my pants if I need to sit down and talk with someone (I usually wear jeans, and the device IS visible when sitting down). Thus I reserved the right, to not wear the device in these situations.

I know that some will probably call me a wimp when I reserve the right to take of the chastity device in certain situations, but to me it makes no big difference emotionally if I wear the device or not in these situations. In my mind it’s still on, although not physically and instead of having to completely abandon those situations where I simply do not want to wear it, I find it better to continue my life as normal, by having the ability to take it off from time to time.

That being said, I'm willing to attempt to wear the chastity device as much as I possibly can. Being able to feel the physical wall between the ability to masturbate and not being able to, which the device represents, is greatly helping to expand my amazing experience. Thus I really feel that I’m losing something good, when I have to take it off.

To make it clear that Mistress’ now had the full control over my genitals, Mistress asked me to send a symbolic key to chastity device and I willingly ordered Mistress a bracelet, which will serve as the future symbolic key.

Mistress also reserved the right to call me nicknames when Mistress humiliates me. What person with a fetish desire to be humiliated by a beautiful Mistress would not want to be addressed with humiliating names? Certainly not I, so I humbly asked if Mistress could come up with a specific nickname for me that would be my future permanent nickname.

Mistress Bella Bellini also made it clear that from then on I was only to address Mistress as "Mistress" or "Mistress Bella Bellini" and required that I would devote myself completely to the will, pleasure and desires of Mistress Bella Bellini. In addition, of course, I would have to pay a 'cum tax' when I finally get a release. I replied that I would gladly comply with these requirements.

My first homework assignments were also set. I should create a Twitter account so I can share my thoughts and experiences and I promised that I will be active with comments on Mistress' site.

In addition, I tell Mistress a bit about my life in general, what I’m dealing with at the moment and what my thoughts about the whole situation where.

Exchange of power

The next day I completely surrendered myself to Mistress Bella Bellini's words and will and wrote back about what feelings Mistress’ response had awakened in me. I also admitted, shamefully, that I had a release shortly after I had written my first email on the 4th of February. But I promised that from this date, I would hand over all control of my options for getting a release, to the hottest woman I had ever seen.

I got a reply the same evening from Mistress that made it clear that Mistress indeed had taken over all control of my future 'sex life'. What started as an innocent desire for a personal fetish video had now, after only 2 emails from Mistress, turned into a power exchange of dimensions that I had never even come close to experience before in my life. I had never previously lived out some of my domination fantasies anywhere but in my mind.

Reply from Mistress Bella Bellini - hurray!

When I saw that there was a reply from Mistress Bella Bellini in my in box, I immediately got excited and clicked with anticipation to read the answer. Mistress Bella Bellini replied that she was pleased to be in control of my orgasms and was going to have so much fun with some orgasm control assignments.

Here I thought that I had sent an innocent request for a video, but already with her first line in the response, Mistress Bella Bellini had taken completely control over me. I had dreamed of this scenario, but never had I tried to actually realize my dream of becoming dominated by a beautiful woman like Mistress Bella Bellini. I had taken the first small step in my initial email, but immediately Mistress lifted me further than I had ever imagined I would ever go. And where was I going? The uncertainty was daunting yet extremely arousing. Mistress would return with a longer email later...

The first time...

The first time I discovered Mistress Bella Bellini's site was on the 23th of January 2011. I immediately became completely captivated by this beautiful woman and when I read more about her background, who she was, how she spends her life and what she offered, I knew that I had to join her site immediately. And so I did.

For several weeks I had not really been able to think about anything else than this divine woman and every day I had watched videos from her archive knowing, that she was the only woman who could turn me on.

Mistress Bella Bellini offered her members that they could send in fetish requests. An offer I had not seen anywhere else. After some hesitation I contacted Mistress Bella Bellini on the 4th of February to ask her whether she'd make a video that could satisfy my fetish fantasy. I could not quite believe that just by sending an email to this breathtaking woman, I might get my own personal fetish request transformed into a real video.

In my email to Mistress Bella Bellini, I described how I had been unable to think about anyone else than Mistress the last couple of weeks. I described how I had 'failed' in my sexual life up until then and therefore still was a virgin. I also described how I get turned on by teasing and humiliating videos, which, in one way or another, refer to me personally, and that it would fulfill my dreams if Mistress Bella Bellini would make a video dedicated to me and my fetish fantasies.

Since Mistress Bella Bellini basically was the only woman I could think of, I suggested that Mistress, besides the humiliation theme, could take control over my "sex life" in the video, since she more or less already had the control. For a long time, I had had fantasies about orgasm control, and had also previously successfully completed a period of 14 days where I avoided orgasms. It was a task I set up for myself, I decided the time frame and there was only myself to be accountable to. It was an interesting experience, but it still lacked the real element of power exchange.

After I had written my email to Mistress Bella Bellini I watched on of Mistress’ videos ‘Evil Seduction’. When I reached the end of the video where Mistress presents her perfect booty and gives a small glimpse of her pussy in the most teasing manner, I simply couldn’t hold back an orgasm. I really had an intension not to go this far, since I had brought ‘orgasm control’ into play in my email, but the ending of the video was simply too exciting and I couldn’t control myself. I got an orgasm that felt fantastic, properly based on the fact that I, for the first time in my life, had revealed such personal details about my sex life to another person. But at the same time it was an orgasm, where I felt really ashamed, because I really had a true intension of not allowing myself an orgasm, before I had heard from Mistress Bella Bellini.